The Skinny on Fashion... Well You Just Have To Be Skinny

It's sad today when a gorgeous 5'10" model weighing in at a mere 120lbs. is fired for being "choke" dare i say overweight. Yes you heard me correctly, and that is just what Ralph Lauren did six months ago to his once popular 23 year old model Filippa Hamilton. There's been a lot of controversy about her with the shocking cover ad floating on the web of her photoshopped to a negative size and not even human... her head is quite disproportionately large for the body they gave her. Now being a graphic designer myself as well as photoshopper, I am appalled at what their staff of artists did to her to reconstruct her for this ad. They took an already gorgeous girl and made her look strange, abnormal and ugly and not even proportionate by any designer's standards, um hello mcfly what the 'f were you thinking? 

Let me just say I was overjoyed when I read Filippa's own rebuttal to the infamous ad and response to Ralph Lauren's firing her in fact to her weight and her being appalled by the ad. Kudos to you miss Hamilton! I think the world needs to hear you loud and clear and maybe start speaking up and put this sad weighted issue to bed already. It's ridiculous to me that the skinny on fashion is that you indeed need to be skinny to be fashionable, to fit into most clothes sold in retail, to of course be considered a model and actually fit into rack clothes and do runway. What every happened to women come in all shapes and sizes, and let's throw in color for good measure! We are not meant to all look alike or all be the same size and shape. Let us embrace our wonderful differences and discover that beauty isn't just skinny or defined by the masses. Beauty is simply just beauty dammit! All women are God's beautiful creatures with beauty on the inside and out. 

Here's the ad in question, I hope you are all equally disgusted! Shame on you Ralph! And here is a normal ad sans major photoshopping...

Yes on 8 Means Yes to Intolerance

Living in California and being surrounded by the news and press on Proposition 8  has been a top story along with the presidential race these past months.

I can't help but have a voice and opinion on the matter of same-sex couples  and marriage because I'm in an interracial relationship, and the same fundamental undercurrents of hatred and intolerance that spanned generations, still exist today for both types of unions. 

The passing of Proposition 8 now overturns a recent California Supreme Court decision that had recognized same-sex marriage in the state of California a fundamental right. It amends the state constitution restricting the use of the term "marriage" and adding "only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California."

It is sad that that so many people are so close minded and so intolerant to other people's relationships, which have absolutely no bearing whatsoever on their own. Yet they sit and pass judgement on people, on their lifestyle and their chosen love as if they are entitled, and as if this union were encroaching on them somehow, even condemning their union as immoral. 

The reality is, this biased judgement removes the sole rights and liberties of the same-sex couples themselves, disallowing them the same privilege of wedded bliss bestowed to other couples in love. And not only does Prop 8 make same-sex marriage illegal, it will also cause many problems with tax filing, family insurance and adoption matters of previously married same-sex couples, and those who had planned a future wedding and family.

Same-sex couples just want the same rights and privileges as traditional couples, with the freedom to marry. They don't want to force their views of homosexuality on you or your children nor broadcast with a megaphone at your children's school. They just want the same societal rights you are freely given, so stop thinking you are better than they are and that you have the right to take away their inalienable and civil rights, you do not.

Love is a matter of the heart and basic humanity, it has no bearing on race, creed or gender. As humans we can't control who we fall in love with, and when love comes knocking we of course should answer that door.

A Recipe For Love

Love is the ideal blend of passion, friendship, faith, trust, kindness, forgiveness, tolerance, acceptance and compromise.

No two recipes are the same exact blend, but contain these ingredients. When the recipe works, the relationship will be fruitful. If the recipe is missing a key ingredient, it will leak from the blender until all of the ingredients are gone.

So be creative and find the ideal blend for your love recipe. Here's to making your love life fruitful! Take a yummy bite...

Trust in Your Heart, Not in Your Head

Many times we are presented a cross-roads in deciding on leaving or taking a new job, in leaving or starting a new relationship. And we are left relying on our two basic instincts, following our heart or following our head, when making the decision. 

More often than not, we usually make the decision based on what our head tells us after over-analyzing the issue, and letting practicality rule. The problem with this is we generally end up disregarding our gut-instinct which co-insides with our heart, deeming it an overly emotional and illogical response. 

Sure maybe following your head may make logical sense, pragmatic sense and financial sense. But will you innately be happy in the long run? Maybe you feel if you follow your heart, you are throwing too much caution to the wind and with it all elements of logic and reason, and therefore must be committed into an insane asylum. 

With following your heart, maybe the risks are just too great, in getting hurt, suffering financially, and completely losing control. Well I say, take a deep breath and jump! Because maybe, just maybe you will find what everyone wants, real happiness and realize this is the right choice.

Our heart is our strongest organ and we must trust in its emotional strength and wisdom. So next time you are presented with a cross-roads, trust in your heart and see what fate has in store for you!

Your Two Scents

Everyone has a signature scent, a cologne or body spray that is unique to their body chemistry and that ideally fits their personality. Everyone also have a favorite smell, maybe a scent they like in their home or a scent that invokes nostalgia or comfort from their childhood.

If you are like me, you already know your two scents and they are unmistakeable. If on the other hand you aren't sure what your two scents are, it is about time you found out. 

With the holidays fast approaching, it is actually an ideal time as well. While you are cooking and baking pay attention to all of your favorite smells, the way they make you feel and memories they stir up. And before the rush of the Christmas season fast approaches, be sure to visit some of your favorite stores to research just what your signature scent could be.

As for me, well my signature scent is Hugo Boss Deep Red. It is the perfect blend of sweet and spicy, which ideally fits my personality. My second scent, and favorite smell is vanilla. I fill my home with everything vanilla, from candles, to soaps, to lotions, to sprays. Surprisingly, vanilla has a few variants to its smell and subtleties. The actual vanilla I love is "warm vanilla sugar" items. It has a slightly sweetly aroma to it. A kind of infusion of vanilla and cotton candy, just so delectable you can almost taste it!

A wonderful smell not only makes you smile but makes you feel good. So add some wonderful scents to your home and body and maybe you'll find your signature scent!

Migraine 101

A migraine is a neurological syndrome and condition of painful headaches, nausea and altered bodily functions. A typical migraine headache is a throbbing headache with pain usually felt on one side of your head; near your temple region, behind your eye or in the back of the head and neck. Migraine pain will typically begin as a dull ache and will progressively worsen over the course of several minutes to several hours, even to the point of severe, debilitating pain. It is a condition that more commonly affects women than men, because of hormonal and chemical fluctuations associated with menstrual cycles and menopause. 

A migraine is your brain's reaction to abnormal brain activity of over-stimulated nerve pathways and chemicals in your brain, with intense pain caused by the dilation of blood vessels which creates pressure on your trigeminal nerve. Often times your serotonin levels will become extremely low before the onset of a migraine. A migraine may last from 4 to 72 hours, so make sure you find a dark, quiet, comfortable room to rest. Typical pre- and post migraine symptoms you may experience may include: a heightened sensitivity to light, sound and smell, nausea, loss of appetite, vomiting, diarrhea, increased urination, swelling or bloating, fatigue, irritability and chills. Some migraine sufferers experience warning symptoms called auras, a few minutes to a few hours before the headache ensues. These auras are visual disturbances such as: blurred vision, tunnel vision, seeing zigzag lines or flashing lights, temporary blind spots, sensitivity to light, eye pain or other visual hallucinations; which may appear in one or both eyes. Following a migraine attack, some sufferers experience a "hung over" feeling that may last a couple of hours to a couple of days. It is important you hydrate and nourish your body during this time, even if you experience nausea or loss of appetite.

Common types of migraines include: migraine without aura, migraine with aura, basilar type migraine (caused from brainstem dysfunction), familial hemiplegic migraine (migraine with sporadic numbness), abdominal migraine (mainly occurs in children), acephalgic migraine (aura symptoms without the headache) and menstrual migraine (occurs during menstrual cycles). Another form of severe headache is a cluster headache (sharp stabbing pains near your temple region or behind your eye that follows to the back of the head and neck, lasting 15 minutes to 3 hours for weeks and months on end).

Common migraine triggers include: hormonal fluctuations (menstrual cycles, use of birth control pills, menopause), alcohol, missed meals, changes in sleep patterns (waking too early or abruptly awoken), stress (both mental and physical), altitude changes (high elevations while driving or flying), weather patterns (barometric pressure), loud noises, bright lights, strong odors, allergic reactions, smoking, maintenance medications (missed, taken different times) and certain foods. These certain types of foods known to trigger migraines include: foods containing amino acid tyramine (red wine, aged cheese, smoked fish, chiken livers, figs, some beans), chocolates, nuts and peanut butter, fruit (citrus, banana, avocado), onions, dairy products, baked goods, meats containing nitrates (hot dogs, bacon, salami, cured meat), foods containing MSG (monosodium glutamate) and marinated, processed, pickled, fermented foods.

There are many steps you can take to ease your migraine pain, such as: take a hot shower, use a heating pad or ice pack on your pain zone (to numb and ease your pain) drink a strong cup of coffee (the caffeine will help increase your blood flow in your brain), say yes to sex (an orgasm will stimulate the pleasure censors in your brain and increase your oxygen and blood flow), get a massage (it will help decrease back, neck and body tension and put your body at ease), meditate or do yoga (to relax your body and mind and stimulate your breathing), try acupuncture (it is quite effective in decreasing your pain response), get a botox injection (they numb the central migraine nerve center and completely ease your pain and discomfort, they also last 3-4 months and are worth the investment!) and finally sleep properly (on a comfortable bed, with a comfortable pillow, 8 hours a day).

Acute and chronic migraine sufferers must seek abortive and prophylactic prevention of their migraine headaches. There are many steps you can take to better manage migraines: see your physician for early treatment (for proper diagnosis and drug therapies) take migraine medication early (at onset of auras or headache pain), take daily maintenance medication (to lessen the frequency of migraine attacks), visit a chiropractor (your back and neck may be out of alignment causing tension and stress to travel up your spine and neck to your head), research clinics in your area (you may be eligible for a research clinical trial study), get regular botox injections (they numb the central migraine nerve center and completely ease your pain and discomfort, they also last 3-4 months and are worth the investment). Successful abortive and prophylactic drug therapies include: NSAIDs (aspirin, Ibuprofen, Advil, Excedrin, Excedrin Migraine - for mild to moderate pain), Midrin, Sumatriptan (available as pill, injectable, inhalent; Imitrex, Relpax, Maxalt, Treximet - aids in leveling serotonin levels - for moderate to severe pain), Topomax (daily prophylactic treatment - for chronic sufferers), steroids and prescription pain medicine.

Migraine pain can range from mild to moderate, to moderate to severe. Your physician will gauge your pain level and prescribe a medication with the least amount of side effects within your pain range. Acute and chronic migraines are quite debilitating and require prescription drug therapy and prevention. Most acute sufferers have experienced this chronic pain for years and plan their lives and social calendars around their migraines. Knowing your triggers and symptoms and incorporating preventative measures is your best defense in keeping your migraines at bay. Unfortunately migraines are incurable, however they are finally treatable with a wide range of medications available today that are quite effective. As a chronic migraine sufferer myself for many years, I've learned my triggers and symptoms and have tried many of the different medications used in abortive and prophylactic treatment. I now know what works best for me and can live my life and work and play in the midst of my monthly migraine attacks, so can you!

For years physicians were unsure of the signs, symptoms, triggers and hormonal correlations, especially in relation to women and menses. I was told by many physicians that my migraines had nothing to do with my hormone imbalance and menstrual cycle until finally I began tracking them myself, and found a conclusive correlation. We were then better able to begin treating them more appropriately according to my cycle and hormonal changes. Today evidence, studies and clinical trials have gone a long way to properly diagnosing and treating this condition and helping the millions of sufferers.

Great Sex Starts in the Brain

The average male from 18-59 thinks about sex from one to several times each day, so basically sex is always on his brain. Yet only 25% of females think about sex each day, so sex is really not so much on her brain. And to be honest ladies, that is the real problem here.

With men, sex, almost any sex and just the mere fact of getting sex, well is just plain pretty good to them. The same cannot be said for women. Not all women enjoy sex. And the fact of the matter is not all women enjoy sex because they actually don't experience the ultimate pleasure sex has to offer, the orgasm, so clearly they are left unfulfilled. 

Over the years, I've encountered many women from family members to friends to coworkers, and it is clearly astounding to me the number of them who don't particularly enjoy sex and more so those who've never had an honest to goodness orgasm. The problem most of these women have, and others like them, is a mental blocker, so until it is released, the orgasm won't be visiting their home any time soon. 

This mental blocker can be the form of fear, insecurity, distrust, stress, anger, resentment, bills, job, children, and basically any other mental clutter rattling around in your mind that shouldn't be during that intimate time. Of course any of these thoughts will kill the mood and take what could have been an enjoyable moment to, an "are you done yet?" moment or merely just take you half way to your pleasure destination.

Half way? That is like winning two tickets to Hawaii, one of the most beautiful travel destinations in the world, yet when the plane lands, you immediately exit onto another plane and fly back home, without ever actually visiting. The flight may have been nice and well the scenery just spectacular as the plane was landing. But sorry you'll never get to see the beautiful landscape, beaches or sunset. Now wouldn't that just be an absolutely wasted trip? Well the same can be said for sex when there's a mental blocker blocking your orgasm zone.

How do I know about this mental blocker and great sex starting in the brain? Well because I could say I'm an expert being a living example. In my first serious relationship at 19 I was scared, insecure of my body, afraid of sex, unsure of his body and I didn't truly know or trust my partner. So even though I liked him and found I enjoyed this new sex, I wasn't fully experiencing how amazing great sex could be and quite frankly didn't know the difference.

That was until my next boyfriend who basically changed my life. He was a very shy, intelligent guy, but extremely passionate lover with amazing body and endowments. He brought me out of my shell and turned me into a woman and pleasure goddess. With him I finally allowed myself to let go of all of my inhibitions, all of my fears, all of my insecurities and gave him all of my trust and love. I released my mental blocker. We didn't have sex, we made love. We generated a passion that transcended us to another plane where our minds, souls and hearts connected as one and orgasms flowed like streams. I finally experienced what Harlequin wrote so eloquently about yet never understood. 

Great sex starts in the brain by awakening all of your senses. When all of your senses highten through sight, touch, taste and smell, and you increase your oxygen intake through breathing, energy will flow through your bloodstream to all of your erogenous zones stimulating your core pleasures. And when you and your lover passionately connect as if playing a symphony, passion will flow the two of you as one, mentally, physically and emotionally. You will reach a greater sense of pleasure and arousal than you've ever experienced before finally allowing the floodgates to your orgasm.

Getting rid of a mental blocker is so liberating and freeing and a must do for everyone, but especially women to achieve the ultimate "O" and attain the great sex they've always desired.  The reality is sex is far more mental than physical as it is the brain that stimulates our bodies. Even foreplay is actually more mental than physical.

Think about and plan your sexual encounter the morning of or during the day, and prepare yourself mentally. Visualize and fantasize about your encounter. When you get home have a glass of wine and nice hot shower or bubble bath, light some candles, and further set your tone, to then take this mental fantasy to a physical reality. Your foreplay has been set in motion all day and you will be primed and ready for a passionfest.  Not only will you be in the mood, but you will be exuding such an hot confidence to your partner, that he absolutely must have you! Achieving this greater sex will allow for greater happiness and health, not to mention enhancing your relationship with your partner. So here's to knocking down that mental blocker and finally having some great sex!

Pronunciation Policing Palin

I watched the VP debate with Pain and Biden and I'm sure I'm not alone when I say sorry America, just not a fan of Palin and for many obvious reasons. I just can't picture her being leader of the strongest, most powerful country in the World, not to mention a competent or qualified leader at that. With McCain being as old as he is he'd probably drop dead of cardiac arrest, more than likely Viagara induced with having such a hot wife. One of my biggest pet peeves with her debate was her heavy drawn out accent bringing me back to the 90's and movie called "Fargo", and what I found even more annoying was her mis-pronunciation of commonly used words in our English language. One in particular which struck a nerve with me was "nuclear" which she pronounced as "nucular" at least a handful of times throughout the entire debate. As Governor of the State of Alaska, I would imagine she is educated, articulate and familiar with public speech etiquette. My understanding has always been that "nucular" is an incorrect pronunciation even deemed oral faux pax and is one of those words on that list of common words increasingly mis-pronounced. So I had to get to the bottom of this pronunciation plunder and find out for myself just what exactly is proper according to today's English experts. 

Wikipedia: Nucular is an ad hoc spelling of an incorrect pronunciation of the word nuclear, representing the (NEW-cue-lurr) pronunciation of that word instead of the correct /njukli/ (NEWK-lee-urr). This pronunciation is disapproved, although some dictionaries recognize it because of its increasing usage.

Merriam-Webster dictionary: "Though disapproved of by many, pronunciations ending in [kj.l()] have been found in widespread use among educated speakers, including scientists, lawyers, professors, congressmen, United States cabinet members, and at least two United States presidents and one vice president, who are, in other respects, educated. While most common in the United States, these pronunciations have also been heard from British and Canadian speakers."

Oxford English Dictionary: "The colloquial pronunciation … has been criticized in usage guides since at least the mid-20th century, although it is now commonly given as a variant in modern dictionaries."

American Heritage Dictionary: "The pronunciation (noo'ky-lr), which is generally considered incorrect, is an example of how a familiar phonological pattern can influence an unfamiliar one … [since] much more common is the similar sequence (-ky-lr), which occurs in word like particular, circular,spectacular, and in many scientific words like molecular, ocular, and vascular."

"Nucular" is the pronunciation preferred by Homer Simpson as portrayed in the episode "Simpson Tide", Homer uses it in correcting the captain of a nuclear submarine. It is also a pronunciation used by U.S. presidents Dwight D. Eisenhower, Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton, and George W. Bush.

My findings show that "Nucular" is the improper pronunciation and has been widely criticized for many years for its casual use. Although some dictionaries do tolerate its use, the majority of English speaking and educated masses do properly pronounce nuclear as it was and is intended. If Governor Palin wants to be compared to Homer Simpson and George W. Bush for their eloquent and articulate public speaking, "doh" coming to mind, then more power to you sister. I'm thinking Hooked on Phonics would make the ideal Christmas gifts for the three of you this holiday season...cheers! My ballot is leaning more toward the Obama camp.

A Time for Hope, Unity and Change

Obama wins in the midst of the naysayers, and with it he brings hope. Hope to fill the hearts and minds of the children, hope to clear away the white cloud hovering over our nation's economy, and hope to heal the deep wounds affecting generations of families from centuries of mistrust, betrayal, hatred and intolerance.

At a time our country was run by men who were so driven by so much fear and greed they oppressed those they were intimidated by, American Indians, African Americans, Mexican Americans, women and homosexuals, and took away all of their freedoms and rights as human beings. For centuries it has been a fight and struggle for these minority groups to gain rights and equality. Now today these minorities have risen up into a position of strength and unity in numbers, joining together to make their voices heard.

The well-being of our country, our people and our economy must become our number one priority. Currently our situation is quite grim and has followed the same stagnant path for years. We must be willing to stop being so conservative and change course toward a more successful future.

The time has come for our nation to come together in unity as one people, to believe in hope for a better tomorrow and to take a stand to make change happen. I believe Barack Obama is the ideal man and leader for this task and was moved to tears during his monumental and historical win. 

November 4, 2008 will always be remembered as one of the most historical dates of the 21st Century, when the first African American won the election to become the 44th President-Elect of the United States of America.

Beauty is Skin Deep

Real beauty comes from the inside not the outside. Because no matter how beautiful your outside is, if your inside doesn't match and radiate your inner beauty and confidence, you won't appear half as beautiful to those around you. Instead you will actually emit a "do not approach me" shield. 

Other women who may be half as beautiful on the outside may radiate such an inner beauty and confidence, transmitting a magnetic field around them and even attract unlikely suitors. Why is this you ask? Well men find confidence simply sexy. And there is nothing more sexy or beautiful than a confident and secure woman who accepts who she is inside and out, flaws and all. 

A woman who finds her inner goddess can command attention and an audience in any room she may enter, simply because she glows. She will attract men like a moth to light, as men are mesmerized by eyes that shine and smiles that beam. So ladies, find your inner diva, know you are beautiful and let your light shine!

Heavy in Hollywood

Why is it that when an actress in Hollywood puts on a mere 7 pounds to her already tiny size 0 frame she is either pregnant or now considered curvy? Well this is exactly the situation featured in an omg! article about Eva Longoria Parker and her recent Allure photo-shoot. Her tiny weight gain has become national news, yet she is still a tiny size 0, and they talk about her weight gain as if it is a bad thing. Are you serious? Let's be reasonable here folks, a size 0 is so small these clothes should really be fitting pre-pubescent grade school girls or even boys. How could they possibly accommodate the curvy frame of a woman with hips and a derrière? Eva looks breathtaking and like a woman should look, even at her tiny size 0 frame.

Hollywood and the media needs to stop their harassment of celebrities whenever they put on a few pounds which for the most part makes them look a bit happier and healthier. Why is it the media drags celebrities through the dirt, shaming them calling them overweight, inevitably causing many of them to lean toward eating disorders? It is the media and Hollywood that are manufacturing a society of anorexics and bulimics and creating societal exercise bulimia and body conscious hysteria. So many of today's actors and actresses have eating disorders and are told by shows' producers they must lose weight. They are taking normal and healthy individuals and making them sick for the value of a dollar and ratings.

Just take a look at the new cast of 90210. The two new leads were both healthy and at ideal weights just before starting the show, but were told to lose weight and both lost 25-30 lbs. and now are at scary 90-100 lb. weights and look emaciated and unhealthy. These two beautiful girls now look deformed like morphed dolls where their heads are just too big for their tiny bodies.

A few years back Ally McBeal's weight and eating disorder affected the other actresses on the show and inevitably a few of them ended up with eating disorders just to fit in.

The weight issues run much further than Hollywood and straight onto the catwalk of the fashion industry. Most of today's models have eating disorders and starve themselves to maintain their emaciated frames just to fit into designer's fashions and be selected for runway shows.

In contrast to the beliefs of Hollywood, the media and the fashion industry today, two of the most beautiful sex symbols throughout history were Mae West and Marilyn Monroe, who were a size 18 and size 14 respectively. To this day they are still revered as the two most famous sex symbols worldwide. Yet by today's standards, they would be considered plus size, overweight and even obese to some. I for one thought they epitomized and radiated beauty. Sexy comes from inside and they both had it in spades!